Trump To Put Name On Walter Reed Hospital

Heads or Tales

“Americans Want A Hospital Named After Someone They Know And Love . . . Me.”

Washington — Hours after returning from Walter Reed National Military Medical Center, President Donald J. Trump announced the 2.4 million-square-foot, 243-acre facility, which houses both Walter Reed Army Medical Center and National Naval Medical Center, would be renamed the Donald J. Trump Hospital For Americans.

There was some confusion last weekend about the president’s absence from public events and whether he had been admitted to the facility, located in Bethesda, Maryland.

Mr. Trump said at this morning’s press conference, “I wasn’t admitted, unlike a lot of the stupid media and you stupid reporters said I was — I wasn’t — but I did go myself under my own power to have my beautiful test results confirmed that I was in great shape. The doctors there — I appointed a lot of the best ones — said they had never seen such a healthy human specimen as myself. Like my heart was terrific. I ran on this machine that is stationery. It’s got a belt underneath that powers it, but it’s a moving mat that loops around itself, so you’re not actually going anywhere. It’s called a treadmill — I don’t know how many people know that — and the doctors who were nearby couldn’t keep up with me.”