Top 10 Tucker Carlson insights on other famous trials throughout history

FOTP Friday List for ... April 23rd, 2021

Now that Tucker Carlson, a truly special kind of dick, has weighed in on the conviction of Derek Chauvin, we wondered what Carlson would say, as he introduced his nightly show, reviewing other great trials in history. 

Nuremberg, Germany, 1946: “Is Hitler guilty of killing Jews? You know, maybe. But maybe he didn’t kill that many. Six million is a lot of Jews. Were there even six million alive back then? We’ll explore that this hour and also ask the question ‘Considering how well the Jews have done since World War II, did Hitler do them a favor?’ We’ll talk to Richard Spencer about the power of Jews in America.”

Jerusalem, AD 29: “I bet if you asked a lot of Jews back then what they wanted, they would have said, ‘Yeah, Pilate, kill this Jesus.’ Jews had their own God. They had every reason to fear Jesus and would want him out of the way. We’ll ask Pastors Robert Jeffress and John Hagee how the Jews were so successful at rewriting history and whether THEY forgive the Hebrew people.”

Athens, 399 BCE: “Liberals, if they were consistent, should have cheered the death of Socrates, just as they are cheering now for the death of Woody Allen. Their crimes are quite similar, even though Socrates didn’t abuse a stepdaughter. Well, we don’t know that he didn’t. He might have. The point is, the same people who still read Socrates are burning their DVD copies of Annie Hall, which I actually liked. But it shows the moral hypocrisy of the Left. We’ll talk to filmmaker and philosopher and deep-thinker Dinesh D'Souza about this.”

NYC, 1951: “Have you ever wondered why the Jews are involved in so many of the most important trials in history? From Jesus to the Nazis, Jews — at least it seems to me — get in a lot of trouble, or are incredibly unlucky and have bad timing. Tonight, we talk to Denis Prager, himself a Jew, about the Rosenberg trial, their guilt or innocence — or even if it makes a difference. My gut tells me they did it and that Jews might have a lot to answer for.”

Salem, Massachusetts, 1692: “The defense seemed to be ‘No, we’re not witches,’ which is exactly what you’d expect the defense to be. The witches — and I’ll call them that — never proved they weren’t. It’s still very much a question if they were innocent or not. But if they were witches, what do you do with them? I think most reasonable people would say killing them is not out of the question. Tonight I speak with a member of the American Council of Witches, who has promised to leave her broom outside the studio, for her thoughts.”

New Bedford, Massachusetts, 1893: “Of course Lizzie Borden did it. The larger issue is why the National Organization for Women wants to do to all men what Borden did to her father and BLM wants to do to all whites. Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene will join me to talk about the women’s movement and their plan to emasculate all strong men, and Senator Ron Johnson will talk about his personal struggle with African Americans.”

Dayton, Tennessee, 1925: “Liberals think people can believe what they want. Many, many states in this country think those liberals are wrong, like the people of Tennessee who didn’t want teachers saying they were monkeys. Tonight, Governor Greg Abbott of Texas talks about beating back liberals' way of thinking in his state. And how he’s winning.”

South Braintree, Massachusetts, 1920: “Back then, a lot of Italians killed a lot of other Italians. It was in their blood, so I, frankly, don’t see what the fuss was about. Sacco and Vanzetti were probably guilty — though who really cares anymore. It was more than 100 years ago —and I don’t know if they were even in the Mafia. But a lot of Italians were “made” back then and they might have been, which would have changed the dynamic of the case, even if they were innocent, which, again, who cares? Bill O’Reilly, who has studied this issue exhaustively, as he has so many others, will be my guest.”

Los Angeles, California, 1969: “Manson was guilty as sin but I think the key question is what did Sharon Tate represent? Remember, she was once married to Roman Polanski, which is something not enough people talk about. Remember, her husband raped a 13-year-old. Actress Victoria Jackson joins us.”

Los Angeles, California, 1995: “I have to wonder if those who were angry that O.J. was found innocent were secretly just angry with Alan Dershowitz for proving them wrong. Alan will be my guest this hour and we’ll talk about it.”