Stop Me If You Heard This One: A Fascist and A Sofa-Fucker Walk Into A Bar

FOTP News in Review for . . . July 28th, 2024

Oh, sure, Ex-President Donald Trump is a convicted felon and a sexual predator, has a peculiar affection for fascists, dictators, and fictional cannibals, tried to engineer a coup after losing an election and encouraged the hanging of his own vice president, refuses to abide by any election in which he doesn’t win, has five children with three women, stole from charities and cheated students, and has promised to unleash the FBI and DOJ on his enemies, but we sometimes forget just how damn funny he is.

Here’s just part of his set last week at Christian Open Mic Night at Turning Point Believers Summit.

“Get out and vote. Just this time. You won’t have to do it any more. Four more years, you know what: it’ll be fixed, it’ll be fine. You won’t have to vote anymore, my beautiful Christians……Get out, you’ve got to get out and vote. In four years, you don’t have to vote again, we’ll have it fixed so good you’re not going to have to vote.” 

That is some comedy gold right there, don’t you think?

What? You don’t think that’s funny?

You’re so Woke.

Republicans were howling.

In a week that started with Democrats clutching a rusty nail over their radial arteries in anticipation of a well-meaning, yet feeble President Biden shuffling his way to an electoral catastrophe, and ended with prematurely popping champagne corks at the clownishness of Republican Vice Presidential Candidate J.D. Vance and in anticipation of a resounding President-elect Harris victory in November, the Sunday morning news shows reminded us, if such a reminder were necessary, that, for most of the GOP, Donald Trump could stand on the West Front of the U.S. Capitol on January 20th, 2025 and shoot Democracy in the heart and it wouldn’t cost him any voters.

He’s hilarious like that.

Anyway, let’s hope August does for Republicans what most of July did for Democrats.

To the shows we go . . .