So Where are the Goddamn Pennies?

The woman in the elevator

My cousin, Dana (his father, Hy — my father’s older brother — who died around the same time as Bernie Newman . . . if, you know, Bernie is dead) called this morning and said he would take care of the arrangements for my father’s burial, including, most importantly, contacting members of the Yankef and Leibisch Family Circle and the people at New Montefiore Cemetery in Long Island.

“Dana, here’s the thing, we’re going to cremate your uncle. You think the Family Circle is going to have a problem with this? A lot of Jews do not look kindly on cremation, and I just can’t imagine this going smoothly.”

“Just remember, Barry, in this family, anything you do, someone will object to.”