How Do You Get To Oslo?

In Defense Of Trump

(Originally appeared in The Progressive Populist)

The moment I read about the U.S. dropping bombs (badly, it appears) on Iran last month, I thought about comedian Steven Wright, specifically his line “I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.”

Donald Trump REALLY wants a Nobel Peace Prize, and clearly after concluding his diplomacy efforts weren’t getting him to Oslo for the awards ceremony, he decided to blow a hole in the side of a mountain.

On that diplomacy, which is arguable, if not downright fiction, here’s what he said after helping mediate a conflict in Congo: “This is a Great Day for Africa and, quite frankly, a Great Day for the World. I won’t get a Nobel Peace Prize for this.”

He also said he wouldn’t get one for “stopping the War between Serbia and Kosovo,” or for keeping peace between Egypt and Ethiopia in 2020 — they were arguing over a dam which Ethiopia was construction, about which they’re still arguing and the Ethiopians are still building — and then whined, “No, I won’t get a Nobel Peace Prize no matter what I do, including Russia/Ukraine, and Israel/Iran, whatever those outcomes may be.”

And how’s this for a dismount: “But the people know, and that’s all that matters to me.”

Yeah, I’m sure that’s all that matters.

His son Don Jr. added a few days later, “Affirmative action is when Barack Obama gets the Nobel Peace Prize instead of Donald Trump.”

The racism doesn’t fall far from the palm trees at Mar-a-Lago, does it?

When it comes to Nobel Peace Prizes, the nomination process is pretty straightforward. Among those who can nominate someone — and this includes various august bodies around the world, like l’Institut de Droit International — are members of national assemblies and national governments (cabinet members/ministers) of sovereign states.

Which means any member of the Republican Party can nominate Trump.

I’ve asked this before, but what could go wrong?

Plenty.

In June, Rep. Buddy Carter (R-Ga.) actually nominated President Trump for the Nobel Peace Prize for the president’s role in brokering the ceasefire agreement between Iran and Israel before there actually was a ceasefire. And even if there had been, Israel bombed Iran; Iran bombed Israel; the United States bombed Iran, which somehow led Carter to believe Donald Trump was the instrument of peace in all that, Gandhi with bad hair, if you will.

Carter wasn’t the only one who nominated Trump for the prize. California Republican Rep. Darrell Issa said he intends to nominate Trump as well.

Internationally, Pakistan nominated Trump for the peace prize after he brokered a deal with India. But there was a problem. According to India’s Foreign Secretary Vikram Misri, he didn’t. “PM Modi told President Trump clearly that during this period, there was no talk at any stage on subjects like India-U.S. trade deal or U.S. mediation between India and Pakistan.”

Oleksandr Merezhko, the head of Ukraine’s parliamentary foreign committee, also nominated Trump but then withdrew his nomination because Merezhko said that he had “lost any sort of faith and belief" in Trump’s ability to get a ceasefire deal between Russia and Ukraine.

This was getting embarrassing.

“Get me those B-52s, stat!”

When it comes to the Nobel, Trump has always wanted respect from those he otherwise derides.

During the calm, halcyon days of his first term, Trump met once with The New York Times’ Publisher A.G. Sulzberger, and two of the paper’s White House correspondents, Peter Baker and Maggie Haberman. They went to see him to ask him to turn down his attacks on the press. When Sulzberger told him that he, Trump, was becoming more personal in his attacks and it was threatening and frightening journalists, Trump said, “I’m not happy to hear that.”

No, I don’t believe him either, but what came next was revealing.

“I ran, I won, and I’m really doing a good job,” Mr. Trump said, lamenting that his surprise victory did not receive the praise he thought it deserved — particularly from the Times, a publication that has loomed throughout his life as representing the establishment whose respect he has long sought. “I came from Jamaica, Queens, Jamaica Estates, and I became president of the United States,” Mr. Trump said. “I’m sort of entitled to a great story — just one — from my newspaper.”

If you put away your loathing for the man for a moment — I know it’s nearly impossible to do — here’s a guy who never ran for public office, decides the presidency of the country should be his first job in politics, succeeds in achieving that, and he can’t get an “attaboy!” from his hometown newspaper?

I get it.

Trump is smart enough to know the people who love and respect him are paid to do so, or are too frightened or spineless not to, but The New York Times and, now, the Nobel Committee, at least for now, aren’t as supplicant and free with the adoration as Pam Bondi, Pete Hegseth, or Donald Trump Jr.

When Obama got his award, Obama himself said he didn’t feel like he deserved it.

That, too, has to chafe Trump.

Obama didn’t want one, didn’t feel worthy, and didn’t politic for it, and got one anyway?

Men more stable than Trump would be furious.

Trump will probably get a Nobel some day, not because he deserves it, but because the committee will decide it’s in its best interest to award him with it, or will actually convince itself he deserves it for not blowing up the world during some conflict, or will just get tired of him whining about not getting one. But when that day comes, Trump still won’t be happy because he’ll know he had to beg for it — and, again, no other recipient had to. His desire for recognition, especially from those he detests, is a curious, albeit clichéd, psychological phenomena. But this award business, like the Times coverage, isn’t just Trump’s hubris and insecurity and megalomania at work. If your cock your head just right, it also makes some sense.