If debasing oneself were a sport, Republicans currently prostrating themselves in front of Donald Trump to be his vice president would not only win the Gold, Silver and Bronze medals, the Stanley and Grey cups, the Vince Lombardi Trophy, and a pink Cadillac from May Kay Cosmetics, they’d also pick up a Westminster Best in Show Ribbon Badge.
I fully expect Trump to outlive us all; still, it is possible, should he be re-elected, he could suffer a massive coronary after wolfing down a triple bacon cheeseburger, and one of these supine courtiers could wind up being president.
So we should probably listen when they’re trying to put words together.
Which brings us to CNN’s State of the Union and Senator J.D. Vance (R-Ohio), who stopped by to remind Jews — their self-hatred is so tiresome — they should be more appreciative of what Trump has done for them.
Before we get to that, Senator Lindsey Graham (R-South Carolina), who is not bucking to become Trump’s vice president, though he is the lackey to which all other Trump lackeys should aspire, was on NBC’s Meet the Press defending Israel’s decision to ethnically cleanse Rafah in southern Gaza. According to the senator, it would be hypocritical for us to dampen Benjamin Netanyahu’s genocidal mania, because, after all, America leveled Hiroshima and Nagasaki, Osama bin Laden attacked the World Trade Center, Japan bombed Pearl Harbor, the squad (Representatives Rashida Tlaib, D-Mich., Rep. Ilhan Omar, D-Minn., and Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, D-N.Y.) won’t shut up about murdered Palestinian children, Bernie Sanders is an old Jew who should know better, and transgenders are playing women’s field hockey in Ohio.
(Ok, I’m joking about that last one. But you get the idea.)
SENATOR LINDSEY GRAHAM (R-SOUTH CAROLINA) This is 9/11 and Pearl Harbor all rolled into one. To abandon Israel under these circumstances would be outrageous. It would be dangerous. And Republicans are going to fight back against Bernie Sanders and the Squad . . . Why is it okay for America to drop two nuclear bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki to end their existential threat war? Why was it okay for us to do that? I thought it was okay. To Israel, do whatever you have to do to survive as a Jewish state.
There was this exchange, too.
WELKER: Senator, again, military officials say –
GRAHAM: Whatever you –
WELKER:– the technology –
GRAHAM:– have to do –
WELKER: – has changed. But let me ask you about how all –
GRAHAM: Yeah, these –
WELKER:– of this could impact –
GRAHAM: – military officials that you're talking about –
WELKER: Let me ask you something –
GRAHAM:– are full of crap.
Thank you, Dr. Strangelove, for your understanding of the complexity and nuance of the situation.
On to CNN . . .
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